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19 Apr
2017
Editorial Team.
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3 Lies You Need to Stop Telling Yourself And Now!

I’ve said this before - I’ve been lucky enough to meet a lot of very different and unique people in my life. They've shaped my perception and taught me that things aren't what they always seem.

One of the things that pretty much all of us do is lie.

Now, everyone lies right?

But the one kind of lie that everyone is all too happy to ignore are the lies we tell ourselves.

So we wanted to dive into this and let you know that you need to stop and NOW!

1) I’m fine. There are people who’ve gone through worse!

This is probably not the first time this is being said on the site and this definitely will not be the last - It’s not a competition.

Stop comparing your pain to others.

As emotionally constipated as I was between Classes 10-12, I remember telling myself again and again - Stop being such a cry baby. People have gone through worse.

And so much was happening all around me I made it a point to not think about it, brush it off and bottle it all up.

I remember watching super-depressing movies just to remind myself that I was being overly dramatic. It worked out fine then but not so much three-four years later

But, let me tell you I was not fine. I was utterly and hopelessly miserable.

It’s understandable if you hide how you’re feeling from your family or friends to not have to worry them but do not go ahead and try to convince yourself of the same. Because someday it will come back to bite you.

2) No one understands what I am going through. It's better to just not try!

Let’s get one thing straight. No one can understand exactly what you’re going through. It takes one to know one.

Also, if you shut yourself up, you’re making it that much harder for them to contemplate whatever is going on with you.

Now I know first-hand how frustrating it is to not have someone in your life who gets what you’re going through. What makes it worse is that they care and they’ll try and tell you things that they believe will make things better.

But, we both know, more often than not it just makes it that much worse.

Hell! The Wall and Us began with my need to find another me who could understand exactly what I was going through.

But, here is what I know now. No one will get you completely. Every life is a string of compromises. Just be glad that they’re with you at your worst and they’re trying.

Cut them some slack. It is easier said than done. But please try.

3) I’ll be happy when I get/do this!

I’ve said this before in my Flappy Bird Theory human wants are unlimited. If you attach your never ending pursuit of happiness to the happening or non-happening of a certain event you’re only prolonging the inevitable. The inevitable here being - reality.

As Doomsday-ish as it sounds, you’ll never truly be happy. Happiness comes in minute spurts of minuscule moments and human beings, as stupid as we all are, we forget.

I recently read this article that explained in detail this phenomenon known as the negativity bias.

I’ll try and explain it in Layman’s terms.

Let’s assume I give you two alternatives - I’ll give you one peg of alcohol now and if you promise to not drink it in the next two hours I’ll share a bottle with you.

Hence you have two options - Drink now or wait two hours.

It was found that most human beings would choose to drink the alcohol right then instead of waiting for the more obvious bigger reward.

The reason was people tend to process negative and positive news differently.

Similarly, let’s say in the past three months three major things happened in your life. One not so nice and the other two are things that you’ve been waiting for all your life.

Chances are you’ll focus on that minor hiccup along the way instead of focusing on the obviously positive ones.

This made so much sense because I believe I am the same exact way. Happiness is meant to come in short and tiny spurts. If and when it does, you focus on those minuscule hiccups along the way you’ll never get the happiness you so desire.

Hence, do not associate your happiness with the occurrence of a certain event.

Ensure that if you do indulge in these lies - You stop. I say this because advice is wasted if no one implements it. Stop! NOW!

Did we miss anything? What lies do YOU tell yourself?

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About the Author

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The Wall and Us Editorial Team.

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