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The Wall Posts

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15 May
2017
Editorial Team.
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What is it Like To Be Raised By an Indian Mother?

I was inspired to write this one when I stumbled upon this one question on Quora which asked –

How would an Indian mother and an American mother differ in raising their children?

Plus it was Mother’s Day yesterday so a mother’s day post was due.

An Indian mother is an extra special breed. They feel too much, love too much and their antics are all-too-frustrating at times.

But, they are OUR weird and love her or hate her, you’ll miss her when she is gone. Trust me.

You will.

1) Maa, No More Parathas.

You know what I am talking about. Are you going for a movie? Take this bottle of water with you. Are you going abroad? Not before you take this home-cooked kachori with you.

Oh and yes. Mothers don’t care if you’ve put on weight. You are never eating enough. Believe me. I put on 12 kgs in the past two months and the first thing I hear once I come back home – Have you lost weight?

2) Maa, Astrology is not science.

An Indian mother believes most of life’s problems can be solved through astrology. When I was drinking too much, guess what my mother’s first reaction was?

Book an appointment with a swami who could help align my destiny. A string of Moon-Stones and Green-Stones followed.

To hell with science and medicine.

Swamiji is all knowing. 

3) Mera beta business kabhi nahi karega. Wo sab risky hai. (My son will not be a businessman. That’s risky shit.)

Maa, calm down. Flipkart did it. Snapdeal did it. Anon. Productions are doing it. Hell, Wow Momo! did it by just selling decent momos.

Nope. Get a proper job. This generation needs a proper spanking comes the quick reply along with the very traditional flying chappal.

Swamiji re-commended.

4) Raju always has it better.

Yes, there is always a Raju somewhere. Someone you’re compared to. Someone with very little life and just as high test-scores.

You’ll come to hate Raju for no reason at all mostly. But you’ll hate him.

Don’t be Raju, guys!

5) Forget Swamiji. She knows what’s best for you!

She knows guitar is not for everyone. She’ll teach you harmonium. She’ll teach you cultural music.

I was taught classical music for 13 years and I still don’t know the difference between the higher “Sa” and the lower one or ones.

See, how clueless I am?

Also, a show of hands. Engineers and doctors anyone?

Now, now. It’s not all bad. An Indian mother is the best of the best. In a short few lines, I’ll explain why we’ve learned to accept our mothers with their own quirky habits.

1) She wants you to be healthy. The old adage “Kha ke jana” comes from a very special place – motherly love and maternal instincts.

2) Mothers run to astrology because they believe supernatural beings are at work here. Somehow the universe is working against their beloved child.

She did go to the astrologer.

But, one morning when I told my family – I might need professional help.

Rehabilitation centres, therapists, and psychologists were contacted within a very tiny span of two hours.

Quite an amount of money was pumped in to make me better.

3) She doesn’t understand completely what The Wall and Us is, but, she is one of our most ardent readers.

She has recently joined Facebook and her comments often spring up on our page.

4) Raju might be better than me but when I am not around and Bhattacharya Aunty says something untoward towards me – She’ll be the first one rising to my defence.

Believe me. Only she reserves the right to insinuate me.

5) Culture matters. 22 years later I am a better singer than ever because of those endless music lessons.

She doesn’t know everything but you have to give her credit where it’s due.

In conclusion, Happy Belated Mothers’ Day. Your mother is an amazing woman and deserves all the admiration she can get.

Indian mothers rock.

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The Wall and Us Editorial Team.

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