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02 Jul
2017
It Takes One To Know One.
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An Introduction To My Life.

This year has been difficult for me but not in the traditional sense. My parents are fine, my friends are fine and I'm fine.

But somehow I'm not. I'm not fine at all.

The weird thing is I've never felt this way before.

It's like I was pushed off a cliff into this uncomfortable situation filled with loneliness.

I was never the kind of person that had big dreams. I had realistic expectations that almost always came true.

It was a way to avoid any disappointment and for the last 19 years of my life, it worked.

I worked towards a reasonable goal that matched my talents and I was content with that.

That changed this year. I assumed I'd be working right after I graduated.

I would get a low salary and I would struggle but I would feel accomplished.

I would be independent and strong and happy.

Unfortunately, this didn't happen. After a couple of interviews and multiple submitted resumes, I remained unemployed at the end of the year.

With my tail between my legs, I came back to my parents’ house and have been there ever since.

My parents have been completely supportive and positive but somehow this does nothing to lessen the feeling of disappointment in me.

Now I'm trying to fix myself in a way.

I'm working out, going for classes and rediscovering my love for reading. It's still pretty difficult and I do find myself crying at night for no reason.

But it will get better. I hope.

*Image - Akshata Timmapur.

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