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07 Jun
2017
Question Hour.
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The Wall and Us vs Loneliness | Some Actionable Advice to Stub Out the Emptiness You Feel.

How many of you feel this constant emptiness?

How many of you aren’t willing to start on something mammoth because you believe you have too much to do and too little time to do it in?

How many of you just don’t know what your purpose is?

How many of you keep asking yourself – Why do I feel so empty?

How many of you smoke up or smoke or drink just because you have..well..nothing else to do?

And how many of you are reading this with this constant nagging voice in your head telling you – You need to do something with your life!

Well if I have you nodding your head right now – Here are some actionable and relatable insights for you to help you understand that this emptiness affects us all and it starts to go away the moment YOU decide to do something about it.

It’s Not Just You!

Couple of days back I was chatting with a friend of mine. We hadn’t spoken for a while so it was actually refreshing to catch up on things.

A couple of minutes in I popped the question – How have you been man?

This is what she had to say – 

God! I have been asked this question so many times and not even once can I say “I have been good”.

No, not interning anywhere this time. I am actually taking a vacation.

I wanted to pry deeper and understand what was actually bothering her so I asked – 

Why can you NOT say “I have been good”? Everything okay?  

Good. Everyone deserves some time off.

Something did seem off so as I pressed on (Fast forward a couple of messages!) and this is what she had to say –

Okay, it may sound stupid and tiny, but I am really anxious about my future. I have no idea about anything with my career. And I don't have a CV that can get me a good job as of now.

I need to start now in order to have a focused stream after 5 years. But I can't decide what to pursue.

Also, sitting at home makes me pretty dull and sad. And I don't want to do something stupid for the heck of it and waste my time.

Definitely law, but don't know what in law.

So I tell her you should try different things. Once you do, you’ll find the one that really makes sense.

And she says –

Things like?

Yes, tiny things like join a music class, learn how to ride and drive.

I am planning to.

But different big things - No. I am planning to write a research paper. I need to build a CV. And so I need to keep myself free.

Me – “That's why we never get anywhere. Believe me, man - Do a bunch of things. You'll always be able to make time if you want to.”

And she says – “But then I will be too busy for the paper.”

Now, let us break this down.

You have twenty-four hours in a day. Let’s assume you sleep as much as I do, so that’s 10 hours gone in a day.

You’re left with 14.

You spend another 3-4 just lazing around, eating, reading this, and a million different things that suddenly crops up when we have work.

That leaves you with 10-11 hours in a day.

She said – She wanted to write a paper. Understood. Writing a paper takes a lot of strenuous research and it gets more technical than writing this piece.

So yes.

But we forget that when we sit down to work – More than the amount of work we get done in a particular amount of time, we spend way more reading Quora, checking up on social media handles, taking a couple of selfies and so on and forth.

Let’s assume for a 4000-word research paper – You write 500 today. Writing 1000 words in a sitting takes me about half an hour.

In between, I waste a considerable period of time and so do you.

So for a research paper, you can easily pump out 250 words in an hour.

That should take you a total of two weeks to get the thing done and that is when you write down 250 words in a day.

Bring it up a notch and let’s assume you spend 3 hours in a day on the paper – Speeding up the time required to finish it.

That leaves you with 7-8 hours in a day.

Now! Do you want to take up guitar lessons? Spend an hour every day and you can play a thousand songs in a month. Do you want to take up driving lessons? That’s one hour every day in the morning.

Go for a long drive with a couple of friends? That should be another 2-3 hours.

And you still have one extra hour lying around.

By now, you should be able to catch my drift. Most things in life can be done. It’s just that we’re unwilling to take the first step and start.

When there is a mountain pile of things to get done – Our sure-footed reaction is to pack up our bags and procrastinate.

So, if you’re like my friend, you should know that you’re not alone.

Perfect! Now What?

This story is very very important and will be instrumental in tackling this emptiness you feel deep inside for two reasons –

1) If you think you have very little time available to you, you’re most probably lying to yourself and doing a pretty bad job at it since this emptiness is refusing to leave.

(You know who you are!)

2) This purpose that keeps eluding you will ONLY GO away when you’re ready to do something about it.

Good. Now that that’s out of the way let us dive into why that voice in your head keeps telling you constantly - Something is missing.

I Feel So Empty Inside Like Something Is Missing!

Very recently, Ambi (One of our listeners) posted this on our closed Facebook Group (The Wall and Us Community. Join Us!) –

Hey, everyone.

I have been thinking about the word "purpose" for a long time now. I'd really like to know what you guys think the word really means.

Think of it as me going through an "early-twenties existential crisis".

I'd really appreciate your time :)

Some of the answers were really interesting.

Most of them (including mine) said purpose is the drive that keeps you going. It’s that voice deep within that tells you that you need to fight through this emptiness that you would end up eventually feeling because someday it will all work out.

I firmly believe that if you have a purpose to keep you going you feel less empty. And I know I am right.

Even then the feeling creeps up at times.

What then?

Gary Vaynerchuk has something to say about this – It’s the uncertainty. In one vlog he gave some extremely relatable advice.

He said that if he was a genie and he told you that ten years from now you’ll be really successful then you would have no problem working your ass off every single day.

It’s the uncertainty that stops you.

And it is this uncertainty that makes you sit on that research paper or that project that you know will bring you one step closer to what you want.

And it’s this uncertainty that compliments the restlessness.

In today’s day and age – We want things and now. But, life doesn’t really work like that, does it?

We don’t want the hustle, we want the end result.

(WATCH - The Ultimate Advice For Every 20 Year Old. It'll change your life.)

So if you have a purpose – Know that you need to be patient. Every good thing comes at a price.

At times when you’re down and lonely – Talk to us. After all, that’s what we are here for, right?

That’s understood. Good. But what about the thousands if not millions of millennials who do not have a purpose?

Here is what you need to do – GO DO THINGS.

Sitting on that bed of yours is not going to ease the emptiness. To get rid of this sinking feeling you need to find this purpose. Something that makes you happy. Whole.

I empathize with you.

But, understand that you need to do a bunch of stuff to figure out what is it you really want.

Go volunteer for a cause. Write for us if you can’t find one. Go intern somewhere. Take an art class. Pick up the guitar. Go for a drive. Freshen up. Think of a career change. Talk to us anonymously – Maybe we can help.

Start a vlog and see how it goes. Start an anonymous personal diary here.

Embrace this emptiness and fight it.

JUST DO IT. AND TODAY!

There will be no tomorrow. Believe me. It’s absolutely crucial you start now the moment you are done reading this.

Find something you can fight for. A dream. An ambition. A good cause. Something.

But do it today and now.

Here Is Something To Help You Start!

I haven’t really shared this with too many people but recently I’ve started a journal. (Sort Of!)

So I don’t really write how my day has been. It’s more of a way to track and set some do-able goals.

They look like this –

Tomorrow I will get this done without fail –

Write 2-3 Quora answers.

Check up with Being Indian for a piece on our community. (They didn’t reply!)

Pitch a guest post to TheChangeBlog. (Turned Down!)

Reply to five messages on Quora.

Now, when I fail, I include the reasons why I couldn’t get the things done. So there is no cause for excuse really since the only judge here is me. Also, I set really easy goals.

I call this the – One Month No Bull Shit Challenge.

It has worked for me and I bet if you’re tired of this constant emptiness and actually want to do something about it, it will work for you.

If this is something that you’re going to embark upon – Let me know in the comments below. I’ll rally our listeners and we can connect on Facebook. Or you can post it on the group. Together we’ll keep a check on you.

That way you stay accountable.

Lastly, I want to know what do you guys think? Did this make sense to you? Does purpose actually lessen this emptiness? If so, what do you think is yours? And where do you see yourself in five years?

Tough questions I know. But someone had to ask them. :) 

Image Credit - Akshata Timmapur. Check her out.

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