STAY IN TOUCH

Become a part of the only community in the world that is exclusively tailored for and by the lonely.

Maybe Later
We will send you a weekly newsletter. And your details will be kept safe and sound.

The Wall Posts

Read. Listen. Understand. And love.

23 Sep
2017
Random Musings.
Share article on:

The Frustrating Cocktail of Casual Sexism and Privilege. | The Wall and Us

As someone who lives in the upper-middle-class life of Bombay, I’m supposed to be way more privileged than half the population of this country.

I don’t deny it. I am grateful to have lived a luxurious and comfortable life.

But, what saddens me is that this liberal understanding is something I fail to notice within the people in my community who have a similar background.

A few days ago a classmate of mine shushed me because I was trying to tell him that he shouldn’t be so misogynistic.

We were all talking about what we look for in an ideal partner.

It was a random usual conversation where people said things like sense of humor, good sense of style, etc. until I said, “He should be a feminist”.

There was silence.

But, what saddens me is that this luxury, this upbringing, this liberal understanding is something I fail to notice within the people in my community who have a similar background.

We were five of us - 4 girls and 1 guy.

The 3 girls nodded in agreement and the guy said, “Stop it yaar!”

To which I said, “Stop what?”

He retorts with, “Stop being so touchy about everything. Why do you have to use the f-word everywhere?

Why can’t you just chill sometimes? Because of people like you our elders think we’re uncultured.

Tomorrow you women will take over the world and boss us around? Why can’t you be like other women?

Why do you always have to say things like this?”

My dad doesn’t let me wear certain kind of clothes because he thinks women aren’t supposed to be dressed that way.

Before I could say something he ignored me and put back his loud headphones, making all of us listen to Honey Singh’s “Blue Eyes.”

I was scandalized.

I couldn’t believe that this guy who is of the same age as I am, didn’t approve of men having the same rights as women.

And because he’s my dad I can’t really argue with him.

What bothers me is that I feel helpless in these situations. I can at least fight with this dude, but what about places like home?

My dad doesn’t let me wear certain kind of clothes because he thinks women aren’t supposed to be dressed a certain way.

And because he’s my dad I can’t really argue with him.

I’ve tried telling him infinite times that I should be able to wear whatever I want to but the conversation turns into a major fight eventually ending with me crying.  

What’s disheartening is that these perspectives come from people belonging to one of the most educated regions of India.

It’s kind of shameful to belong here.

It’d be nice if someone could help me. Tell me what could I do if something like this happens again.

Do you face casual sexism in your workplace or at home? How do you deal with it?

If you’re as helpless as I am, how does that make you feel?

Do you think our society is ever going to change? If yes, what are you doing about it?

If not, then why?

Like What You Just Read? Show some love :

About the Author

Total Articles : 1
thewallflowerwhosurvived

Add your comment here

Top 3 Most Popular

22 Sep, 2017

A Story From The Forgotten Underbelly Of Kolkata – Sonargachi.

30 Sep, 2017

How I Lost 60 Kgs and Became A More Confident Human Being.

07 Apr, 2017

A Tribute to Arjun Bhardwaj – Tutorial on How to NOT commit suicide.

STAY IN TOUCH

Become a part of the only community in the world that is exclusively tailored for and by the lonely.

We will send you a weekly newsletter. And your details will be kept safe and sound.
Navigation Bar
Copyright 2017-18 The Wall and Us Foundation. All Rights Reserved.